The Illusion of Choice of the Hijab
Imagine being born into a world where you had a menu for ice cream and you had to choose a flavor, but there was only one option; chocolate. And as a kid, you think you have to choose something, so you go for chocolate.
I read something somewhere that states that if you want your kid to eat broccoli, all you have to do is give him something worse than broccoli and make him choose. He will certainly go for broccoli. Why? because he’s a kid, and to him, he thinks he has no other option.
The same goes for young girls that wear the hijab at a very young age.
Let’s talk about me briefly. My story.
I “chose” to wear the hijab at the age of (almost) 9 years old. Why? Because I was never given the option that I can NOT wear the hijab. Take it as the ice-cream story; I had to choose. My menu was: Hijab.
Little did I know, as a 9-year-old, how something as simple as a piece of clothing will define my whole identity, will change how society views me, and worse, how I am forced into a religion I know nothing about.
Go and have a conversation with my parents and they would tell you “it was her choice”. How can you, as a parent, give a huge life-changing decision for a child? Plain manipulation and gaslighting.
I’ll give you examples of typical conversations parents and religious scholars have with Muslim females as young as 9 years old (in some cases, even younger) to convince them as to why Hijab is something you have to do:
- “Your Hijab is a way to preserve your modesty”
Think about it, if you cover your body, you are considered modest. If you don’t cover your body, you are not considered modest. Covering up your body makes you a better person. Not covering up makes you less of a person. Therefore your body is shameful, or as I like to call it: عورة which is the Arabic definition of shameful. So Your body should be covered because it is shameful. Do you see what I’m trying to clear out here?
- “Men get sexually aroused by little bit of skin and hair, you should cover up to not entice them”
It is your job to not sexually arouse men. If a man gets sexually aroused by you, you have sinned. If a man sexually assaults you, it is your fault. A story we hear every day: “He raped her? what was she wearing? Did she give him the wrong message?” All these imply that it is always a woman’s fault if she was assaulted by a man. Why? because “your body is shameful, cover up” This gives rapists power because they tend to defend themselves by blaming it on a woman’s clothing.
this is such an interesting photo…
- “You should be judged not by your looks, but by your intellect”
Women are viewed as sexual objects in the eyes of people that impose Hijab. “How am I going to judge you intellectually if you are showing your body that is for nothing but sex? Please cover up so that I don’t get distracted” If you can’t see a woman’s intellect because her thighs are too distracting, then the problem is you.
Are you able to see how messed up this is?
In order for them to convince a woman (or a girl) that she should wear the hijab, they try to prove to her that her body is something to be ashamed of, that she should cover it or else she’s a whore.
There is a very popular meme on social media that you can always see if you live in a Muslim society:
I won’t explain how absurd this is. It is yours to think about.
Many women and girls that are not convinced of the hijab never take it off. Why? Because of two main reasons: they are deeply ashamed of their bodies and/or they’re scared they might get disowned from their families or worse; murdered.
Let’s talk about the latter now. Many females are forced to wear the hijab by being threatened or blackmailed. We hear stories of women getting killed by their male family members for removing the hijab, and stories of women getting executed or prisoned by their own home country.
Who gave anyone the right to control another human being?
Why is there so much hatred and misogyny towards women?
Women should be safe to take the path that they choose to follow. They shouldn’t feel obligated to do what their parents or society expects them to do.
We, as human beings, should raise our voices for millions and millions of women that are under control and threatened.
And to the women that are in those circumstances, Please talk out loud, even if you were to tell your story anonymously (like I am). You are loved, You are worthy, Your body is beautiful, and it is just for you.
I would like to end with a quote from an inspiring strong feminist woman called Mona Eltahawy:
The most subversive thing a woman can do is to talk about her life as if it matters. Because it does.
